Between Duty and Desire
by Desslock3
Summary: One shot. A young RDF soldier has to choose between the two most imporant things in his life.


BETWEEN DUTY AND DESIRE 

Jayson sat there and wondered just what he should do. Before him was a decision that would effect him the rest of his life. On the one hand he could chose to complete his final week of training at the academy and receive his commission as a 2LT in the RDF. Or he could leave, elope with his girlfriend and never be alone again.

He thought about what Jeanette had said to him. About how she didn't want to see him risk his life as a member of the RDF or the UEG militia, and that she said a silent prayer for him every time she heard the civil defense sirens. That she didn't want to spend her life not knowing if her mate would come home at the end of the day.

Jayson also thought about all the time that they had spent together over the past few years. They had been friends all through out high school, or at least the amount of high school they had a chance to complete. The Zentraedi attack and the rain of death that came with it had ended any hopes for a normal life. They both lost their entire families and most of their friends. The only thing left for them was just each other and to try and pick up the pieces together.

And so over the months Jayson and Jeanette had lived together, some would say as brother and sister, some would say as boyfriend and girlfriend, and some would say as husband and wife. It had not been easy for them. The struggle to stay alive after the rain of death had been great; simply finding enough food to eat was a challenge. Jayson remembered there were many nights when he and Jeanette would go to bed hungry with the only thing to take the edge off their hunger was the hope that tomorrow would be a better day. Then there were all the other challenges they faced, finding a reliable source of water to drink, or building shelter for themselves from the wreckage, or protecting themselves from other people who would steal the necessities they could not find.

Then one day it all changed for the better. Jeanette had been sick for several days with a high fever and Jayson was becoming worried about her. Just as he sat down to take a break from his foraging for the day, Jayson saw something that had a big impact on his life. Coming in to the small encampment where they lived, was an RDF survey and recon team. With in a few short hours they had set up a field hospital to render first aid to the sick and had begun to take damage and causality assessments.

Placing Jeanette on an improvised wagon, Jayson brought her to the RDF survey team and began the process of starting a new life for them. Their had been one knuckle head who had a hang up about Jayson claiming Jeanette as his dependent even though they were neither related or married, but an outburst of shouting by Jayson quickly resolved that issue. Finally after a long day of filling out paperwork and being examined, Jeanette was on her way to a hospital in Macross city. Jayson hated to be separated from her, but he knew that he needed to remain behind and finish being in processed by the RDF survey team so they could receive shelter.

A month after they had settled in to their new lives at Macross city, fate threw a new curve at them. Their subsidies living in Macross city would not last forever, they had to find jobs in order to pay for their new lives. Even though Macross city was a more or less boomtown, that didn't necessarily mean that work would be easy to find. But once again the RDF seemed to provide an answer.

After a long conversation, Jeanette finally agreed that Jayson should enlist in the RDF. If nothing else at least being a member of either the RDF or the UEG militia would ensure they still received free housing in Macross city. At least as far as Jayson felt, as long as they had a place to sleep at night, then they would have a home together.

Then one day, shortly after Jayson had completed his training, he went out in a Destroid on his first patrol. Things went smoothly enough until some malcontent Zentradi ambushed the patrol. Fighting bravely, Jayson managed to break up the ambush and save his buddies, but not before a 20 millimeter HEAT round detonated inside of his cockpit.

Awaking from his concussion, Jayson saw something that took away all the pain in his body. Sitting next to his bed, crying tears of joy was his beloved Jeanette. As Jeanette walked home from the hospital, she began to feel sick at her stomach again. This was the second time since she had heard of Jayson's injuries. Finally letting herself in to their apartment, Jeanette lost the last bit of bravery she had been showing Jayson and simply broke down crying.

A week later, Jayson was being pushed in wheel chair out of the hospital. Some of his buddies from his unit had dropped by to check on him and to sign the cast on his leg. Officially he was on light duty, but Jayson wanted to check out the statues of his mecha back at the motor pool. Jayson's company commander was surprised to see Jayson in the motor pool checking on his mecha. Scratching his chin in thought, an idea formed in his head.

Jayson could not believe his luck; he was being offered a chance to attend the new RDF/UEG militia and not only complete his education but to receive a commission in the defense forces too. His commander had told him that his test scores were high enough, that he was a good soldier, had proved himself in combat, and by checking on his mecha while on light duty had shown the proper imitative. Now all Jayson had to do was to tell Jeanette.

When Jayson got home he heard Jeanette humming again. She had been humming a lot lately, a sort of soothing type of humming. Smiling happily at the most important man in her life, Jeanette wrapped her arms around Jayson's neck and kissed him warmly before telling him she had a surprise for him. Pleasantly surprised, Jayson decided to hold off on telling Jeanette about his academy appointment for a little while. But they promised to exchange good news after dinner.

After a delicious dinner, Jeanette finally let Jayson know her little secret, she was pregnant. Jayson could not believe this, he was about to be a father, and with the woman he loved. He quickly hobbled over to Jeanette, despite his broken leg, and held her for what felt like an eternity. After a while, Jeanette asked what Jayson's good new was. Smiling, Jayson told her of his appointment to the academy.

Jeanette did her best to hide the look of fear and disappointment on her face from Jayson. She was proud of her lover; he had worked hard and deserved such recognition. But still she was worried; worried that someday their child would not have a father.

Jayson was in the third month of his academy training and things were going pretty good. In fact Jayson had warmed up to the idea of being a father and was liking it more and more everyday. He and Jeanette had even begun to finalize plans for their wedding. But if life was so good then why did he feel like something was wrong. Finally, it dawned on Jayson what it was; he was hearing Jeanette softly crying next to him.

Turing to face Jeanette, Jayson could see she had been crying for a while. At first she didn't want to talk about what was bothering her, but soon she was spilling her guts. Jeanette told Jayson her secret fears for his safety once he finished his training and returned to active duty. How she had been trying to be strong and to not show her fears to him, but that she just couldn't do it anymore.

As she spoke Jeanette lurched forward in pain and grabbed her stomach. Finding Jeanette in too much pain to talk, Jayson panicked and rushed Jeanette to the hospital. Fearing the worst, but hoping for the best even as the doctor approached him, Jayson was still devastated by the news that Jeanette had lost the baby. Walking in to Jeanette's room, Jayson saw her sedated and sleeping peacefully. And for the first time, he began to understand some of the fears that Jeanette had been telling him about.

The next month would prove to be long and difficult for the two of them. Their wedding plans were put on hold while Jeanette recovered from the miscarriage. Jayson did his best to comfort her, but he was busy with finishing the last of his training at the academy.

It looked as though things were beginning to return to normal when he came home that evening, but something was wrong. No lights were on and nobody was home. It was odd for Jeanette to simply take off with out leaving a note or something. So when Jayson found the note on the table, he didn't think anything of it until he opened it and read it.

It said Jeanette had decided to leave. That she had to get away from everything that was going on at Macross city, and that she had decided to go to Monument city. There she would wait for him.

Jayson closed his eyes one last time as this last memory went through his mind. They stayed closed for several minutes as he thought. Finally, Jayson opened his eyes, his mind made up now. Putting his car in to gear, Jayson headed towards a new life.


End file.
